Bumps Ahead

Over the last year, I’ve worked with hundreds of people who want to change something. Habits, attitudes, shape of their body, focus ability, and you name it. Everyone who comes in has a few gifts that another person who came in would have loved. As a matter of fact, there wasn’t a single something that one person came in for that someone else would have wanted. Even procrastination!

Bill is a wonderful friend, and I love him dearly. He had an interesting twist on procrastination. He and I met for coffee at Moonstruck one day and he told me about his perspective. Just so that you know where Bill is coming from, allow me to share a little about him. He is a numbers guy with a heart. Formerly a Vice President of Accounting for a large company (years ago), he now is a Consultant that goes in and helps Nonprofits and Profit companies. In his spare time, he does volunteer work at an amazing place called The Dougy Center. This is a center that helps children who have lost brothers and sisters or parents. Bill is a smart and amazing guy.

Procrastination he said is a “tool.” You might not need it when you want to get something done, but it is sooooo useful when you want to “not do something.”

“That is confusing, Bill. What do you mean?” I asked.

“Take a habit you don’t want to continue. For example, eating sugary items like cake or cookies. Simply use your ‘Procrastinating Tool’ and you’ll be fine. Just keep on saying, ‘ not now… maybe tomorrow’ and after a while you realize you haven’t eaten that for a month!” He smiled.

Realizing he was on to something, we laughed about all the habits we didn’t want that we could procrastinate on. Here are some we came up with:

• smoking
• eating french fries and fatty food
• smoking cigarettes (and everything else)
• drinking alcohol and rotten coconut juice
• being late for important activities like exercising at the gym
• organizing (closet, paperwork, writing-my-book articles, etc.)

This is a small list when you consider everything you could procrastinate. I’d love to hear from you readers what you’d like to procrastinate.
Procrastinating will get you started (odd to think that), but there are still some other problem people have when they want to change.

People frequently are afraid of the problems that they will encounter when they do change. If they stop smoking, how will they ever be able to share a visit with their best friends … the people they hang out with at the local bar? What will they do when they need a break? If they are on a diet, and can’t eat sweets what will happen when it is little Jamie’s birthday and people insist you eat cake? How do we deal with these times? These are bumps in the road.

Maybe you have driven down a road that has speed bumps. Let me ask you this question: When you get to a sign that says bumps ahead do you stop? Do you decide not to drive down the street because you’ll have to go over a few bumps… albeit slowly? Of course not! You can apply that same strategy to the times when you find yourself facing the hang out people and the cake. Go slow… decide what you will do when you get there (i.e. procrastinate) and continue on your journey.

You know there will be some bumps, so just decide a new strategy to use when you get there so you can make it to your destination. You’ll get there.

As Rich and I say to all our clients and students, “Arrive safely to your next destination.”

February and March are great months to map out your journey. If you think you have a great idea, then get it going now.  Come in for a free coaching session with Rich or Cat. Fun. Experiential. Productive. Call us at 503-525-0594 or 503-525-0594

Between the Stones

Stuck between a rock and a hard place? Life challenging you too much? Looking for a new perspective or to  hear another plan?  Cat has something special JUST FOR YOU!

First, allow me to share a story. A young woman who is close to me talked to me about feeling stuck in her life. She was working two part-time jobs, dealing with problems with where she lived, and trying to figure out a current relationship – all  overwhelming her and she just couldn’t see through the fog of these issues. She didn’t know what to do, and thought she was doing the best she could possibly choose.

One of my colleagues had come and told me about someone close to her in the same position. Both of us where too close to the person to work with them due to a conflict of interest. We wanted to  help. So, we put our heads together and came up with this idea. Over the course of a few weeks it came together and felt really good because we tried it on ourselves and we could see with new eyes! Taking this into action… we talked to people and they agreed to try it out.  Amazing! It was so simple and yet gave such a positive solution!  Although I can only speak with permission on the woman close to me, I can tell you that she found a myriad of ideas that she had never thought of, and that right now her life is already on a more positive track. Yes, she is doing better and looking towards her future with new eyes.

Are you wishing you could get new perspective? This brief, but powerful morning workshop is for you!

Cat Wilson is known as a dynamic and heart-centered instructor. She brings her wealth of working with human issues and creative training techniques to create a fun learning experience. Participants will walk out with new eyes and a book to begin the new journey. Cat is teaching this class at Portland Community College (Sylvania Campus). Use the PCC Registration link below.

Life Scripts

Come to play with a life event, challenge, or something happening in your life where you feel stuck. By the end of the day, you will have a collection of ideas to help widen perspective and move forward in accomplishing your challenge.

Registration: www.pcc.edu

Driving on Road to Challenge

The blog “Dreary to Dreamy” elicited so many responses and one person asked me to expand on it. So, here is another expansion on one aspect… creating the fuel to get you going.

Given the circumstances you find yourself in, life may or may not be what you want.. exactly.  One woman I know lives in Colorado and has chosen a life in nursing. Her days are filled with helping people who may or may not be appreciative.   Her dream was to provide an important service and knowing how smart she is, perhaps she is interested in being a witness to the human. As a traveling nurse, she actually moves around the country and works in different states. Each hospital has its own structure and rules and order and characteristics. Hospitals are places of many things. Birth. Illness. Fear. Science. Miracles.  Becoming a nurse was her desire, but the environment and place she is in may or may not make her happy. Yet, she fuels up and heads  out to do this dream, despite the dreary aspects.

When we find ourselves doing what we had hoped to be doing, but something is missing in the dream, it can be useful to check our perspective.

Let’s do a Check In with these four questions:

• What is my mission or purpose ?
• What is my intention (in this moment, in this day, in this career)?
• Who do I want to include in my experience?
• Which beliefs support my mission, and what beliefs hold me back?

How many people do you know are actually conscious of their mission or purpose? Are they drifters letting life happen? Do they blame others (family, politicians, cultures) for their problems?  Our students work on their missions, so they have a focus. Once that is worked out with intentions, people and beliefs then they are fueled!  It takes a little time to separate the ideas of what other people want us to do. Then check what you believe is possible and taking action.

When you bump into the wayward soul who has no direction and “fire” inside to fuel them they can become driftwood. Driftwood in the rivers bumps into boats and gets in the way. Driftwood can also build up to the point of creating a dam, and blocking energy. If there is driftwood, get it out of your way.

Energy Flows Where Attention Goes as Directed by Intention

When you feel fueled with intention, you have that drive and can meet up with obstacles and work through them.

I remember a time when I was a teenager and really wanted to go to my friend’s house. Overnight the winter snow storm covered everything with a few feet of snow. Snow plows made it through, but the driveway needed shoveling. I wanted to go out, but I didn’t want to shovel snow, but for this time when I wanted to visit my friend, all this energy came available and I HAPPILY shoveled our driveway, the sidewalk, and sat in the car while it was warming so my mother would drive me.

Enthusiasm I felt in that moment fired me up, fueled me up, and was contageous! People in other houses came out when they heard me shoveling, and joined in the activity around their houses. What a funny thing!

The point here is that I intended to visit my friend and I believed I could do it with actions that would support everyone involved. I was fueled.

Enriching the lives of others is what Rich and I desire to do. We’d like to enrich your life. Let us know what you are interested in and how we can help.

Magic Slippers

Recently I was listening to a speech by Elizabeth Gilbert, the author of “Eat, Pray, Love” on TED.com. Gilbert talked about genius and creativity and where it comes from.  In ancient times, people saw creativity as being a power of the Gods, fairies, elves, or magic. She also talked about fears about creative ventures.

There are creative ways to make a wish happen.  Creating it in your mind is the beginning. I like the vision of Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz knowing that all she had to do was make a wish while wearing her ruby red slippers and click her heels three times.  This puts the power into the feet to take a “step forward.”

You have wishes. Your have dreams. You have goals! Yes, you do. Think about it. Imagine having your complete wish, your happy goal, and sit with that for a minute. Yeah! Add a little color, turn up the music, taste the spices, feel it in your grasp, smell the roses!  Ahhhh…  so good to take a moment with a dream, create a goal and see it in your mind. This is known as daydreaming, the same state of mind as you can use with hypnosis. Anyone who has taken a class or come for a session learns that “all hypnosis is self-hypnosis” and we are your helpful guides, keeping you on the path.

Hypnosis is a wonderful and useful skill, and it can help you achieve what is important to you by giving you focus, peaceful and organized thoughts, and some good brain chemistry to keep you stepping forward.

If you truly want to get your magic slippers in the right direction, make a list of a few ideas, and get going. Are you feeling stuck? Come in for an appointment. Or, how about this. Talk to a friend and come in for a local community class.  How about “Goal Setting Through Hypnosis”?

You can sign up for one day class with Cat Wilson, an Instructor at Portland Community College (Sylvania Campus) in Portland, Oregon. She is presenting an entertaining day on “Goal Setting Through Hypnosis” which will begin at 10:00 am and finish at 4:50 pm. You will receive a wonderful book with an audio cd to practice your motivating and inspiring sessions after the class, too! Anyone who has been in a class with Cat knows this will be active and experiential and fun!

Ready to get going? Good. Sign up and pay $39 to Portland Community College, and bring a check for a $15 material fee to Apositiva Institute, too. Grab your ruby red slippers (or golden green ones) and meet Cat in room HT324 at PCC. Cat will be waiting with her ruby red slippers just for you!

SIGN UP INFORMATION

Goal Setting Through Hypnosis
Class CRN 16913
Saturday, January 28th, 2012  UPDATE: Moved to SUMMER: June 30th, 2012
Time: 10:00 am – 4:50 pm
Portland Community College, Sylvania Campus, Room HT 324
Fee to PCC: $39
Material Fee to Instructor: $15

www.pcc.edu/nc
Phone 503-977-8888 Pay by Phone: 503-977-4234

Paradise Garden

“Hello! Welcome! Hair cut today? Nails?”

“Yes,” I said, actually only coming in for a hair trim.

“Five, maybe 10 minutes. You come sit and relax.” She directed me to a comfortable chair with controls to massage my back… patiently waiting until I sat down, she set up the controls and asked if ok. Nodding, I agreed.

Sitting back in the lovely salon massage chair, I waited my turn to have a hair trim. Originally, I hadn’t planned on having a manicure, but I was so grateful sitting there that I considered it. Stressed and tired, my intention was to ensure the scalp massage, hair wash and new style to feel better. Yet, her friendly open manner had instantly made me feel at home in her care. Sonia (not her real name) was the owner, a most congenial person, and the most customer-sensitive person. Her husband Bob (not his real name) worked with her and could do nails as well as all the other wonderful duties required in such a business.

“Tea? Green tea okay?” Bob asked me.

“Yes, thank you.” I smiled. Wow. I hadn’t expected that!

“Here you go.  Haircut and Pedicure today?”

“No, I’m having a hair trim.”

“Okay. Good. Sonia is good. You’ll like it. Let me know if you need anything.”

Relaxing, enjoying my green tea, I felt the simple pleasure of being cared for. Such a nice celebration of human spirit. Looking around, I saw the same satisfied look on the other faces, men and women.  Lots of interaction. Although the ladies performing the pedicures, manicures and hair dressing didn’t speak perfect English, they were all such good listeners. When the door jingled, they jumped up to attend to every person, old, young, male, female. Made no difference. Every person was treated with the exact same helping of kindness, “Hello! How are you? Come in, come in. Haircut? Manicure/Pedicure?”

It felt good to sit here. Such a warm, inviting atmosphere. I’ve heard that Starbucks strives to give each customer at least a few moments of intent attention. It feels good to go there, too.

Soon it was time to have my hair trimmed. Sonia came over smiling, and beckoned me over to the station where everything was neat and waiting.  She worked so fluidly moving between customers.

“Okay, tell me what you want?” She stood paying close attention. Then she asked me if she could also do some “new” ideas, too. Nodding my head, I was pretty open to anything from this angel of relaxation. By the time I left I was glad! I felt beautiful inside and out. (Yes, I got the manicure and pedicure.)

It’s been over a dozen years now, and Sonia and I have enjoyed many haircuts over the years together. Both she and her husband know how many children I have, and ask about grandchildren. Such a sweet relationship. Yet, I was curious about how she got here… to the USA, so I asked. She smiled, and began the story.

Sonia was a young girl in a war torn country. Life was hard and there were no luxuries… at least not in her home. It was tough enough to get simple necessities… like food.  In her small village, her mother gave her a few coins and she and her siblings would buy a sweet potato, which was cooked by a local vendor on the way to school. This was to serve as her first and second meal of the day. Her family was poor, and she felt it right on down to her only two sets of clothes. One to clean and one to go out to school.

After so many years of watching her father with no work, her mother trying to make money any way she could, and her own hard labor as a child, she decided she would find a way out. Her memory was fresh about how lush and green she remembered the country of her birth, but how poverty made life so difficult.

Now, I wish to mention that Sonia was in a war-torn country that our soldiers had impacted. You can use whatever you have in your head to argue what this means, but the hard, cold fact is that life was destroyed for her family and friends, and people had nothing.  American soldiers, however, had filled their heads with tales of a country of great bounty. Stories of the great America! It sounded like paradise! “You should go to America,” her father told her. “You should go to America when you can.” She agreed.

The day came when an escape was possible. They were refugees. A boat would leave at 7pm and head into the ocean, carrying many people… a storm in the near future. Yet, the opportunity to leave was like a sweet call to paradise. She arranged for her voyage and her younger brother to go. She feared plans could change so she only told her mother on the day of the boat. Can you imagine hearing this from your child? In their case, it was the only hope for an improved life. They said good-bye to their family, not knowing when they’d see eachother next (turned out seven years).

BELIEVE

They headed out of their home, Taking what little money they had, purchased better clothes, and with nothing more headed to an unknown land for an unknown possibility… all based on possibilities. As things go, the boat actually launched and the small vessel was tossed in the seas, and she found herself terrified, but holding strong for the others consisted of many children. She made a promise, “One day I will have children who will live a better life.”

There is so much more to the story, including threats of being imprisoned by the Chinese, the rolling waves of an ocean with a tiny boat, refugee camps she lived in for months, and the hurdles she jumped to learn our customs and become a citizen. She did it all. She did it well.  Maybe this is why her customer service skills are so amazing.

I listened to the dream of a lifetime from this tiny lady, so strong, so courageous!

Sonia’s daughter is about to graduate after four years at university, studying to be a doctor. She is a kind and gentle spirit, and worked hard for the scholarships she won with high grades and work with people in missions. Sonia’s son works and attends university. Parents are proud.

“You should write a book,” the other beautician says in her Tualatin Salon.

“I will,” Sonia smiles. When my daughter and son graduate, I will tell them that this is the success that I dreamed of a lifetime. They complete my dream.

Okay… this gives one person’s dream. They couldn’t see what was going to happen, but they had a dream… it took over 30 years, but it’s real.  Take a moment and think about your dream. Impossible? How could you make it possible? Be strong. Be courageous. Dream big. Now, go get your dream!

Feel free to give Cat or Rich a call if we can help you get your dream started. We’ll look forward to hearing from you.

Cats Listen

Hi, I’m Dancer, the local cat mascot for Apositiva and today is my turn to write a blog. I’ve been watching my humans and listening.  You seem to be in a conversation about your world. I’m only in the background and people typically don’t ask me for advice, but I could give it. What am I hearing around here? Divorce, poverty, death, personal abuse, substance abuse, illness. Stories of suicides, cancer, safety fill the news portals.

From a cat’s point of world, we are watchers. We find a safe perch and observe.  I like to watch you people, and I think you are fascinating animals, but sometimes you seem like you can’t see yourself. We as cats learn a lot by watching and listening. For instance, just by hanging out I’ve learned how to recognize signs that a person may show when they are in distress. It’s good to remember that any of these signs can be caused by physical as well as emotional challenges. Here are some signs I’ve seen in humans when they are struggling.

o  Physical issues like tired or red eyes, drowsiness, fatigue, bruises, eating too much or too little
o  Erratic mood swings, apathy, or lethargy
o  Secrecy
o  Chronic lying
o  Withdrawal from school and family
o  Hygiene and personal appearance are neglected
o  Less enthusiasm, loss of ambition, and abandoning goals
o  Falling quality of work

As a cat I think that hygiene is very important. Anyone who has watched me knows I take excellent care of my feline attributes from whisker to tail. When I see you people it makes me want to give you some tips.  Since no one has asked and the computer was left unattended I feel it’s my feline duty to feed you a little. After all you can be a leader and make a difference by helping others:

Let’s start with these steps:

o  Trust. Create an open and comfortable atmosphere when humans express themselves.
o  Listen, listen, listen … seriously. Listen with your heart, mind and your gut!
o  Put aside your story and let them finish before adding your ideas.
o  Differences. Humans come in many colors and shapes and sounds. Be sensitive to differences.
o  Be real. If you hear a myth or hyped up information talk about it and help get the facts.
o  Relax with them. Go for a walk, share a good story, smell something nice.

Being there when a human is going through a crisis can make a difference. I know this, because when my master is struggling I come over and sit on his shoulder. After he pets me for a while he feels better. Come to think of it… so do I!

Helping humans in crisis around you makes it more pleasant for we cats. So, I’ve done my bit today. If you want to learn more you will need to contact my master Rich Aanrich at Apositiva. Oh, look! Here’s his personal cell phone number: 503. 754.8226!  Tell him you saw his cat’s blog.

Viewing Rainy Portland

Dreary morning… pouring rain, blowing wind… you feel alone… and a little bit of depression sets in.  Weather taking a bite out of our day – eh?  I know when this happens to many people it can feel sad or scary.  Sometimes being around dreary people can take a bite out of you, too.  Unless you are trained as a therapist or know how to deal with this energy you feel down, and down, and down. Hmmm.  You caught the dulldrums. What to do… what to do? What to do?

One way to get out of the dulldrums is to start with realizing that you’re slipping down the hole that Alice in Wonderland fell in.  Grab a hold of a good deeeeeep breathe and let it go slowly. Do that a couple more times till you feel the ease in your shoulders, sort of like your shoulders drop down a bit. Now close your eyes and picture a colorful flower, like a red tulib, yellow rose, violets, or bright orange marigold. Listen for calming sounds like the ticking of a clock, sounds to lull you into a quiet space, or if you’re lucky the purring of a cat. (smile) Imagine smelling peppermint, orange or vanilla.

Decide with intention that when you open your eyes you will give yourself a gift of joy. Keep your eyes closed. Now, create a story in your mind of something or some experience that would be really fun. Theatre, softball, dancing, writing poetry, swimming, driving to Toronto, whatever looks and sounds like a different experience. Wander around in that for a while. When you find yourself smiling, open your eyes and look up and take a breathe. Now ask yourself what is needed for you to do for yourself today. Make a mental list of activities that you want to work on. Pick what is most important and valuable.  Imagine that you are surrounded with golden light. Build that feeling until you feel the smile, the warmth or a shift. Open your eyes…  take a few moments and jot down the ideas in your mental list that you want to work on. Now just take it step by step.

You can give yourself another boost with a glass of water or hot green tea later. You can take a walk. (Even walks in the rain can be enlivening.)  Work on completing one small idea on your list and get started on another one. By the end of the day you realize with pride how you lifted yourself and got something done.

You’ve gone from dreary to dreamy and are now in a happier mood, and the depressing, dreary dulldrums are withering.  Remember that light you imagined? Turn it up again when you get around others. It’s a big world out there and everyone gets their boatload of challenges, just like you get yours. You remember now that it’s not necessary to take on the rest of the world. Just manage your list.

Give this a try and let me know how it goes. Feel free to give me a call if you want a guide to give you another boost. We are here for you at Apositiva in Portland.

Dip Cookie

Christmas brings out the “dipping” response. We dip into food, we dip into our Christmas accounts, and we dip into activities.

Healthy dipping is a good thing. A dip in the pool is nice. A dip of wheat-free cookies into 67% cocoa chocolate is good. A dip in ballroom dancing is especially fun!

If you could dream, though, what would it be like to dip into these places:

o  Happiness
o  Healthy
o  Focus
o  Satisfied
o  Self- Confidence
o  Aliveness
o  Adventure

Okay, go ahead. In the land of imagination you can go anywhere you want. Visit it for a while. Start now.

Woooooo… did you slip and go into “Guilt”?  No, no, no… Guilt is vastly over-rated, don’t go there. Not a good travel destination. Instead, choose what you’d rather be enjoying. Dip into the experience of total health and give yourself time every day to enjoy your choices in life. Let’s dip into your health by making a dipping recipe.

Health Dipping Recipe
Dip into Exercise daily
Dip into new Fresh Foods
Dip into the past, and Clear out Old Behaviors
Dip into Smiling at yourself in the mirror daily   
Dip into thinking higher and more productive ideas.

Yes! Yes! Yes! You’ve got it now.

By making small, minute changes you can begin right now to give yourself the gift of your own happy life. Now… get your “Dipping Life Cookbook” going and make up a bunch of new recipes. Hey! Maybe we can get together for a potluck and exchange recipes!

Thank You for dipping into Apositiva and giving us a minute to make your life better today!

Happy Dippy Holiday!

Warmest regards,

Cat, Rich & all the Apositiva Friends

Have you ever made a decision to quit, stop, or change how you eat? Then you found yourself going nuts? Let’s crack an egg and enjoy a moment.

Deviled Eggs

Rich and I decided to go “gluten-free” in September. It took emptying the pantry of a myriad of staples such as wheat flour, crackers, anything with modified food starch, etc. As long as we were going in a new direction, Rich went out and purchased new cookbooks, so we wouldn’t get too lost in our endeavor. Online he ordered “The Wheat-free Cook” by Jacqueline Mallorca, “The Paleo Diet Cookbook” by Loren Cordain, and my favorite “Paleo Comfort Foods” by Julie and Charles Mayfield. Needless to tell you we had an assortment of wonderful guides.

You may suspect that I enjoy cooking, and you’re right. (Ask any student of our courses how many wonderful, healthy refreshments are provided at our center.) I even have a schedule that I’ve used for over 30 years on cooking holiday dinner with pages indicated of different cookbooks. Well, this year, I didn’t use them. I used new cookbooks. Listen for it… listen… listen.. hear the screams? Yes, it was time to go nuts. Even more than what you can imagine.

Since we had been cooking gluten-free we learned all about nut flours. Peanut flour, almond, coconut, and then there were different oils such as peanut oil, coconut, walnut… sort of drives you “nuts” doesn’t it? What we discovered is that we could bake and enjoy a lot of yummy and healthy stuff provided we liked nuts… which we do enjoy.

Yet, doing something different than what you’re used to can be a strange experience. I found myself struggling with not making the typical pie crust, and felt like I was “off” because I hadn’t made yeast rolls. It was strange. I felt confused, worried, and walked in circles a bit. Not doing what I always did, how I had established a habit, where I was ingrained with a pattern was driving me nuts. After sitting down for a tea break I realized I’d have to suck it up and stick with the plan, because we went “gluten-free” for good reasons.

Why did we choose to do this? Neither one of use had celiac disease, which many know as a great pain to the digestive organs and being able to absorb vitamins or tolerate any form of wheat. What we did was read “Wheat Belly” by Dr. William Davis, a heart surgeon that was encouraging his patients to get off wheat for a healthier heart. What he discovered in his research is that many other parts of the body are affected. When we personally went gluten-free, our joints felt better, a rash I’d had for months went away, we both felt about over ten (10) pounds melt off, and our thinking was clearer. It took about a week or so, but we didn’t miss the regular bread as much as we thought. We felt better and that was what we needed. We also discovered that going to restaurants took paying attention. I was delighted to find that many servers carried a list of gluten-free items on their menu.

Getting back to the holiday cooking, I was programmed to cook one way and was feeling the bit of confusion that comes for a bit when you change the way you think. What did I do? I actually walked around a bit and remembered all the higher reasons why I was doing was I was doing. Memories of Gramma’s cookies, mom’s apple pie, and our family Italian gatherings with pasta and Italian bread rushed into my mind and I stopped there and appreciated such delicious moments. Then I stepped back into 2011 and felt myself in this body and realized how I was changing for the better. My mind was clear, my energy was higher, my skin felt at ease… too many benefits here to go back to the old ways. Sitting down with the beautiful photos in Paleo Comfort Foods, and reading thru the new recipes I saw myself putting these ingredients together and enjoying them. Just like that, I took a breathe and started cooking, baking, and set a feast that was 100% gluten-free.

“Delicious!” said our neighbor and her significant other who was hesitant on coming for a Thanksgiving feast at a “wheat-free” event. Everyone went back for seconds… only we felt more comfortable. There is a lot more to this concept and I hope you will all try it out. It’s a new way to experience your body. I won’t even mention that people can benefit whether they do it for diabetes, weight, heart, skin, mood, or health of other areas. The food will taste great, you’ll feel good. When you try this out, let me know how you experience your body.

Gluten-free Holiday Dinner

Happy Healthy Holidays!